Hello my friend,
This morning as I set out for a walk it began to rain.
My first instinct was to head back in and forget my walk for the day. But something was pulling me to keep walking, despite the rain.
So instead, I grabbed a rain jacket and set out on my walk.
As I walked, I had the realization my walk in the rain was a metaphor for my life in recent months.
As you may have noticed, I have been very quiet…in fact pretty much silent.
There has been a lot going on in my life. My mother has been very ill and in fact there were several times where we were sure her transition was imminent. It’s been a bit of a roller coaster of ups and downs. Currently we are on a bit of an up…not sure for how long or what is next.
My instinct when it is “raining” is to “stay inside”, focus and often get all caught up in how the rain is preventing me from doing what I had planned.
I am grateful that my circumstances have allowed me the flexibility to be there for her and not have to worry about explaining things or begging for time off from a boss.
So this is not a complaint about my choice to focus on her during this time. Yet at the same time, I have to admit it has not been easy. (More on that in another post!)
My epiphany was the realization that the universe was gently reminding me of a very critical mantra I try to live by and have recently forgotten…Both And.
Today I remembered that I could walk in the rain. It’s a both and… Yes I got wet. And guess what, nothing bad happened. I was just wet. In fact…it actually felt refreshing and joyful.
I have been missing my work, missing you. Missing the connections and the joy I get from writing, coaching, speaking, and teaching. I have fretted a bit about what’s next, how, or can I get started again?
I have even been questioning whether I should just close down my business and do something else. It has felt like I lost momentum in the last year. Feeling like I could not focus on writing, marketing, or preparing a class because the “rain” was coming down so steady.
Funny thing is, yesterday I did take a walk in the sunshine. Guess what… I got wet…yep only this time with sweat instead of rain. But I was still wet.
So why have I been resisting going out in the rain all these months? Why have I told myself “you can’t go out in the rain”?
I am so grateful for my walk in the rain this morning, it has reminded me its not an either or…it’s the Both And.
And you begin again by just listening to the nudges of the universe and go out anyway. It’s okay to step out in the rain from time to time. It’s okay to not have it all planned, perfect and sunshiny. In fact we need the sunshine and the rain to really be fully ourselves.
My journey in life has been so full of awakenings and caring for a parent is no different. It has brought up all sorts of juicy stuff to feel into! I have much to share about it as time goes on. I know so many of us are in the same place.
I just want to say I’ve really missed you. I am so grateful to show up on your door again…even if I am soaking wet!
Here’s to remembering the Both And!