How to overcome the struggle between desiring vs affording it
Its always amazing to me how sometimes a certain “theme” will run through so many aspects of my life…seemingly unrelated. However, I know that nothing in this world is unrelated. So these “themes” that run through have a connection. And they all come back to me and how I see/feel/allow my life to unfold.
Right now there are two sort of “buddy themes” running together. They are showing up for me personally and for the women I am interacting with.
These two themes are desire for something and the issue of being able to afford it financially. Do you feel me here? I know you do.
As you know, I am hosting my in September. I have been talking to many women about attending this lovely event. Several really, really want to come. They know that a weekend like this is just what they need. A little time away…space to just be…connection with loving, amazing, fun women…good food made with love…hanging in nature. Ahh, it sounds so wonderful (and it will be!).
And then, something happens. The focus turns money. So much comes up when it comes to money and spending it on us. Sometimes the cash flow really is not there. And sometimes, it goes deeper than that. Sometimes we just won’t allow the abundance to flow to us…for ourselves.
I am not writing this post to try and get you to come to my retreat (although I really do want you to come!). I am writing this because I keep seeing this pattern of conflict between desire and money in others and myself over and over again.
While I don’t have kids at home any more, I think we can all relate to that fact that if it was $600 our kids needed for camp, for braces or even if our four legged “kids” needed surgery or expensive medication…we would freaking figure out a way to make it happen. We know if we put our mind to it (in other words our attention), somehow it will work out…and more often than not, somehow it always does.
It’s a whole different story when it comes to spending money on something we really want for ourselves. It seems we go straight to and remain caught up in the scarcity mindset.
I want to gently invite you to stop, pause and really check in about what it is you desire in your life…regardless of the cost or your bank account. This is not necessarily about my retreat…it’s about anything you desire to experience that you are not letting yourself have because of the constant mind tape “I can’t afford it”.
Instead of focusing on that mantra of “I can’t afford it”, which is putting your attention and your mind on what you DON’T want; can you shift your perspective to just focusing on what you do want and allow yourself to be open to the possibility that if you desire it, you can have it?
Can you put that same deep desire that you have to make sure those you love are taken care of and get what they want and put some of that magical mojo towards yourself and what YOU desire and want?
I think back to so many times in my life I limited my experience because I focused only on not being able to afford it. So guess what… I couldn’t. Even when I was earning a six figure salary!
Once I started focusing on what I wanted, letting go of the need to know “how” it was going to happen…trusting that it if felt “right” and felt “good” to me I would be supported by the universe in having it. I started getting more of it. Now, I have to say it doesn’t necessarily show up exactly how I would have always wanted it or expected it to. But that’s part of the beauty of it!
Sometimes it shows up as a gift from someone else, an unexpected check for the exact amount of what I needed for what I wanted (which is what happened when I signed up for the Passion Test certification on faith that I would get the money to pay off my credit card bill), or even an easy affordable payment plan that allowed me to spread it out over time.
I want to share with you a list of experiences I have had in the last 5 years that came about even when I did not have the money at the onset of the desire and if I had only focused on the lack of money, they would never have happened:
-quitting my 6 figure corporate job to coach and serve through my business
-traveling through India for 3 ½ weeks after I quit said job
-taking 7 months off to care for my ill mother in law
-traveling to Ireland on a wonderful spiritual tour
-traveling to Hawaii to celebrate my 30th wedding anniversary with my husband
-studying with my mentor through 2-3 retreat events per year (one in Cancun) for the last two years
-the new (used) car I got last year
-spending 3 weeks in Florida this coming October near the beach
-attending several certifications and trainings including the Passion Test, Holistic Stress Management and Holistic Nursing programs all over the country
I could list many other experiences I have had and continue to have when I set my desire from my heart, not my head and trust that it is possible for me to live abundantly. This does not mean I have an unlimited amount of money in the bank, far from it. It does mean I am learning to live consciously, focusing on what I DO want and with an unlimited trust that all is good and I am supported in living a life of joy and love. With that belief, I have the entire universe to support me in countless ways, sometimes in the form of money.
I am sure you hear about this type of experience and think, yah, yah…whatever.
I get it. And I want you to think back to something that you really wanted and didn’t think you could afford, but would not let go of wanting it and then lo and behold one day it happened. I know you have at least one time this happened to you. So if it happened then, can you trust that it would happen again…and again…and again?
It is hard to keep our focus on what we want when it feels out of reach. But the problem is when we end up focusing only on the lack, it brings more lack. So try these tips:
- cut out pictures of what you want and put in a notebook, box or on a poster board or make a Pintrest board dedicated to it
- write about it in detail in your journal
- when you think about what you want and thoughts about lack of time, money or access come up, redirect back to just focusing on what you DO want. Let go of trying to figure out all the details of “how” it might happen. Take one step at a time toward what you want.
- Focus on how you feel when you daydream about the desired experience…note what it really feels like in your body and recreate that feeling as much as possible. As you do this, you raise your vibration and energy which will attract more of what you want.
- Mind your words…catch yourself when you hear the “but….” start to come out of your mouth. Stop speaking limiting beliefs…eventually you will stop thinking them.
- Don’t share your desire with those that are going to automatically tell you why it won’t/can’t happen.We have enough negative thinking in our own minds without having to hear it from others. If you even suspect they will think you are crazy for wanting it or tell you why it can’t happen, don’t even talk to them about it. Keep it to yourself for now and just stay focused on the desire.
Perhaps over time try shifting your thoughts to this…”there is no way what I desire won’t happen for me, if it feels good and comes from my heart”.
Wow…that would be a whole new way to live! I think I will have more of that!
By the way, the early bird savings of $100 for the ends on the 15th… so if you want to save some money register before then. I have tried to make it easier to say yes by offering a 2 payment option as well. You can get all the details here.
Here is to desire and abundance!